BIBLICAL PARENTING

2010-02-19

The ABC for New Parents

Instead of cramming our minds with every parenting tip, or buying every baby “must-have,” here are simple principles  to guide us through our new role

THE experiences of first time parents are always the same; whether you’re as young as 16 or as mature as 60, welcoming a newborn baby is no easy feat. Even if you’ve read every what-to-expect book or subscribed to every parenting website, theory is always different compared to the actual practice. 
The arrival of a baby is always coupled with many emotions. You feel happy, excited, tired, worried, angry, inadequate, wistful, hungry, sleepy, and the list goes on and on.
Learning the ropes of parenting is a continuous process. It doesn’t end when your child graduates from college or when he gets married. Yet in each and every stage of parenting, one may be guided with the following principles that often times we tend to overlook because of its simplicity:

Ask Help
I don’t know if it’s the super-parent chip seemingly programmed inside of us or that little voice named “pride” that keeps us from asking for help, but there is truth behind the African proverb: “It takes a village to raise a child.” One cannot be expected to do every house chore, change diapers, report to the office, and go on night-shift duty to soothe a colicky baby. Don’t be ashamed to call your parents and ask for an extra hand and don’t feel guilty if you’ve been eating take-out food for some time.
There may be a million things that concern you about your baby’s health from the moment you bring him home, so it’s important that you find a pediatrician that you are comfortable with especially when you’re armed with your 20-page list of questions each visit. Don’t be embarrassed to call or text (if they allow) when you are dealing with something doubtful. Don’t play doctor with your newborn unless you are truly a certified medical practitioner.
Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our new duty as parents that we forget to ask help from He who is the source of all wisdom and guidance. Will we humble ourselves before God and admit that we need His strength and guidance in this new role that He has given us? Will we make a conscious effort to ask and involve God in our work as parents?
The book of James couldn’t have stated it better: “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.” (James 1:5)
Be Focused on What Really Matters
When my husband and I had finally equipped ourselves with every basic baby equipment and accessory, we made a conscious effort not to go to the mall—lest we get tempted to indulge with the latest baby gear or the coordinated room accessories that would look perfect with the vintage-designed baby closet. Before you swipe that card or hand over you hard-earned cash to the counter, stop and think, do you really need the latest DVD phonics set to supposedly make your child smarter? Is it a matter of life and death that your child gets the 6-in-one play gym to get a head start in his motor skills?
As we try to veer ourselves from these very exciting indulgences, it’s best that we keep things in perspective and reflect what we as parents are supposed to be focused on. We are not here to turn our children into fashion icons by buying them trendy outfits, nor are we here to try to outdo the carnival-like birthday bash our neighbor threw. Rather we are simply here to “train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)
Our parental duty is simply to train our children in the way that leads to life. We are to guide them through the crossroads of life with loving discipline and Godly wisdom. This may be quite challenging to do, especially with the constant barrage of worldly distractions, but God’s promises stand true—“If you fully obey the LORD your God and carefully follow all his commands I give you today, the LORD your God will set you high above all the nations on earth.” (Deuteronomy 28:1)

Charge Your Batteries
We live in a world where everything has to be done NOW and FAST. There always seems to be something to do and no time to rest. Yet God demonstrated that time dedicated for rest is appropriate. If God himself rested from his work, then it should not amaze us that we also need rest. Jesus demonstrated this principle when he and his disciples left in a boat to get away from the crowds (see Mark 6:31-32). Our times of rest, if wisely spent, refresh us not only physically but spiritually as well. It is useless to fret or anxiously labor day after day, and it was no less than Solomon himself who discovered this fact: “In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat—for He grants sleep to those He loves.” (Psalm 127:2)
Part of recharging is time spent in intimate prayer. Jesus’ life was an example on how important prayer was for him. When Jesus wanted to pray, he made a conscious effort to put a space between himself and his everyday distractions. We know from the Gospels that he did this by climbing mountains or by walking the desert. We know that sometimes he got up early or spent a whole night in prayer. In prayer, Jesus basked in the Father’s love, received wisdom, and recharged his spiritual batteries. Because of this, Jesus was always able to return to his tasks with renewed mental alertness and physical endurance. Do you take the time to recharge your batteries? How do you spend this valuable “me” time in getting to know God’s plan for you?
There’s no secret formula to being a perfect parent. Just do your best and walk in faith knowing that we have a gracious God who will help us see our child through many firsts and a million magical moments as he grows up to become the person God has set him to be.